No, I made the offer; to heal, to offer foods that could recuperate magical energy, things like that. And then I started summoning up Anti-Cell soldiers when that village attacked, and Kris—ah, that is, Kristoff, one of the twins who rules Tel'Adre—he asked for dominion over those forces. For the ability to summon them on his own, direct them on his own. We're friends of a sort, but that's not something I can part with easily. Or one that I'm willing to.
[The power of Sovereign is something she paid for, dearly. How could she ever face her Servants again, if she just tossed it over like a spare jacket?]
Nn... well, it's not like I go looking for it.
[She's practically melting under those ministrations. It's not the first massage she's gotten since coming here, but in a way it's more intimate than the other, even when that one devolved into sex. Each twitch of his finger is thoughtful and deliberate, for the sake of easing her burdens.]
Yes, of course you could not part with it. A ruler cannot simply part with their treasures and those that their subjects depend upon. I could never merely give away Ea, for instance.
[ It's interesting ... because although the Hakuno who Gilgamesh knew was merely a "normal" school girl, by a certain definition of "normal," a Hakuno who is now a sovereign seems in some ways even more suited to relate to his experiences. Gilgamesh never would have supposed her life might take such a turn, but in a rather strange way, it makes a sort of sense.
Gilgamesh quiets a little, comfortably and companionably, when Hakuno says she will trust him. Trust in the Master/Servant relationship -- it's always a complicated dynamic, to be sure. Hakuno is kindly made and satisfied by simple joys, but her Servants ... well, none of them is exactly an innocent. Gilgamesh knows the stories of Nero, Tamamo, and certainly Altera, not to mention that corrupted Archer Hakuno has contracted with here.
Yet she accepts them all, and Gilgamesh too. So, of course, it isn't that the other Gilgamesh was a monster, but that he betrayed in so personal way. ]
I told you before, Master, that I'm a demon, but... I will be honest with you.
[ That's his particular/peculiar honor. And for all that Gilgamesh has always conceived of his own nature and wild, unable to be tamed, a tempest in human form... perhaps a good Master does make some difference in outcome. He was created to judge humanity. Thus Gilgamesh could have become one who destroyed all life or one who saved it. One Gilgamesh went in one direction, the other another, and Hakuno has now met both. But surely she herself had some hand in the outcome, as his Master. So... ]
Hm. That other one tells me I can be corrupted here. I do not want to believe it, but the evidence is before my eyes. [ firmly... ] It must not happen. I believe with you as my Master... well.
[ well, there's no need to elaborate. his own natural strength of will should be fortified. ]
-- But, there is one other thing I wished to ask about.
[ Gilgamesh lightens his touches, almost teasing, holding up her hair in something of a ponytail and feathering the tips of his fingers at the nape of her neck. it's always been a particularly fascinating place on the human body, a column of muscle, indicating vulnerability and yet power. it's no less interesting on an NPC.
Slowly, he turns his gaze aside a little, so that their eyes aren't meeting in the mirror's reflection. He's been debating whether or not he should bring this up, but Hakuno has been as forthcoming as ever, and enough of their camaraderie seems restored that perhaps the topic will not be too much of an interference. ]
That other me... Hakuno, he told me that the two of you embraced.
[ well, not the word he used, but translations from Gilganism to Gilganism.]
-- Hm. Do not think I have some ignoble motive for asking about this.
[ still looking away!!]
I said I do not care who you lie with. Yet, considering what has happened... and I am uncertain whether his body was in that state... however... certainly I cannot think this was well for you.
[He is many things, but he isn't a liar. The other Gilgamesh twisted the truth savagely and without the slightest shred of remorse, and she knows this one might be driven to do the same if the need should take him. But here and now, safe with gentle hands upon her, Hakuno finds herself tumbling back to her natural state: putting her trust in the grasp of one of history's most infamous figures.
Her hair half-spills against his fingers when she tilts her head curiously, trying to figure out the nature of his interest in that little tidbit.
She gives up, because that's a headache waiting to happen, and just answers honestly instead.]
Oh, yes. We did. It was... months and months ago. There was another festival, with flowers and chocolate provided, but there was some sort of magic in one or another or both. Very briefly, we loved each other.
[She pauses, then clarifies.]
As a man and a woman do, not the way I normally love you. It was different from what BB did to you, too; it felt... natural. Neither of us had our perceptions majorly altered, or our wills noticeably bent.
[But, more to the point--]
This was before any of the fighting or the transformation, of course. I think it was even before we regained our memories of our time together on the Far Side. He took me into the Gate, when we... 'embraced'. I... don't believe he'd easily be able to try that sort of thing now. He said summoning from there is difficult, lately.
[ What is the nature of his interest, indeed... it's not jealousy, nor is it even surprise that such an outcome could be possible after he had rejected her and been certain of her own reciprocal indifference, though Gilgamesh was somewhat surprised by the different outcome. ]
I will tell you why I asked. Hakuno, if you will, turn to me.
[ Gilgamesh knows she believes him now, but he still wants her to see his eyes. the penetrating red gaze -- she should see the truth there, if anywhere, and she is one of the few he has allowed to look at him at such a close eye level. Gently, he re-arranges her so that they're facing one another on the small space of the chair, with her practically in his lap, though he does not reach beyond what he has already touched.
GET READY FOR GILGANISM IN 3, 2, 1 ...]
I had considered -- those memories must seem dishonest to you now, perhaps even all the more awful in light of what came next. But perhaps not? You say you loved one another. Perhaps those joys of the mind are not twisted by that later reality.
Yet, as I contemplated the memories of my body imprinted upon on your memory, I could not be satisfied by what he has done, and -- gradually the idea grew up on me that perhaps a new memory could be created to cleanse the old. Hmph. I simply do not want my image disgraced, and though I don't seek to absolve another, perhaps it would -- assist your comfort in some manner.
[ THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST CONFESSION SINCE BB. IT MADE SENSE AND SEEMED PSYCHOLOGICALLY LOGICAL IN HIS MIND BEFORE, PURGING HIS OTHER SELF'S TAINT OR WHATEVER, BUT NOW IT ALL SOUNDS WRONG.
well, not like Gilgamesh to rescind, so tumbling ahead -- ]
Listen, Hakuno, don't mistake me! Hmph! I've lain with innumerable beauties and will certainly embrace many more. Though your looks seem far more adequate outside of the Moon Cell, I am the furthest from a man lacking in lovers. And lest you think I see you as some conquest or a challenge, I must disabuse you of that!
[ Deep breath. ]
In truth I know your mongrel heart is as easily pleased by simple and plain gestures as grand ones and you would no doubt simply continue to "make small talk" through my majestic embrace, rather than losing yourself in feminine bliss like so many others! There's no joy of conquest in that, let me assure you.
Truly, I was not lying when I said I do not view you as a woman... and do not feel for you "as a man and a woman," I do not seek to flirt with you, nor conquer you, nor possess your heart [ regardless of what another Gilgamesh had done ] rather -- [ Still gazing at her, all the more intensely. ] I see you as a being who is my equal, as a lord whose attentions are divided among her loyal subjects, who can never be tamed by a marriage bed or some singular and eternal romance.
... hm. This sounded better in my mind. Now as I say it, no doubt it would be highly foolish of us to engage in such an act. [ WELL. SHRUGS. ] However, I do not think you would regret it, and I can say for certain I would not.
[ sorry, he's Not Good at this whole Vulnerability thing... ]
I want to share in the joys of our bodies, together. So... you granted me permission, Master. Now I grant you permission. [ placing her hands on his face. ] You may touch whatever part of me pleases you.
[She lets him rearrange her without any fuss, and quietly hears him out as he...
Hm.
He doesn't 'fumble' or anything so plebeian, as irksome as it is to admit it even in her own head; the words tumble and crash out of him with all the careless majesty of a rockslide or an avalanche. He picks up momentum and tosses a few glancing, heatless insults her way at some point, but really, that's just Gilgamesh to the core.
Hakuno, for her part, simply watches him, her blank, thoughtful gaze frustratingly difficult to penetrate. She takes a moment to parse through all possible Gilgamese-to-Hakuno translations, review any possible ulterior motives, and then, finally, stands.]
Let's... table that offer for a little while. I trust you, but... how to put it? Neither of us would regret it, but I think your other self is an issue that would... color our time together. And that wouldn't be fair to any of us, right now. But, for the moment--
[Her hands are still on his face, as she looks down at him, and she gently guides him forward so she can softly, sweetly press her lips against his forehead. It's a gesture divorced from carnality, something unmistakably tender, something that says, without words, 'you are dear to me.'
Her hands shift to his shoulders and she draws him into an actual embrace, sharing a different type of physical joy. One he might not accept from any other person in this world, given the fact that she is currently the only non-AUO 'equal' he has on this plane. Her cheek is pressed softly to the crown of his head, now, and her voice is even gentler than before.]
I don't love you as a lover, but I do love you. On the Far Side, those feelings crept up on me, despite my better judgment and your unerring reminders that our time was meant to be fleeting, and I would die when we parted. But, you crept into my heart all the same. I'm... different from what you remember. I fought an entire second War you have no recollection of, and I've been betrayed both there, and here, and I need to deal with that. After I sort things out in my head, I wouldn't mind trying that with you. But, maybe instead of lying together "as man and woman" tonight, we could just... lie together?
[ As Gilgamesh spoke, the muscles throughout his body had been instinctively stiffening, preparing to disclaim his offer in the event of her saying no, or to reject anyone who would be so brazen as to reject him. In truth, for all he knew, saying such a thing might have triggered another round of distrust and coldness from Hakuno.
This, however, takes him aback.
It's -- not a situation he's been in before. Not exactly. If this were purely about sex, as so many things have been, no doubt he would simply push his desires selfishly, perhaps even to the point of taking, but it's not about that. The issue, rather, is that he has little framework for non-sexual closeness. Well, not that most of his sexual encounters were particularly "close," either, but sometimes one could let their guard down somewhat during such an act. So when she embraces him (more literally), he's quite stiff at first... though he tries to relax somewhat. It isn't natural for him whatsoever. Perhaps she does such things with her other Servants and they respond more amiably.
Gilgamesh just sort of "hms" affirmatively. But that's still more, yes, than anyone else would get. He would certainly have shoved them away by now.
In some sense, it's perhaps slightly disappointing that his copy could go farther with his Master than he has, prone as he is to viewing the world through a sexual hierarchy, but for both of their sake, he makes an actual effort not to view things through such a lens. ]
[If nothing else, he can soothe himself with the fact that his other self pulled an Icarus and flew too far, too fast, and was righteously struck down and burned for all his sexual benchmarks. Her fingers, gentle and cool against his nape, might also be soothing.
In fact, the embrace itself is gentle and warm, with the faint scent of desert flowers wafting around from her soap and shampoo. This is a big moment for both of them, after all; by all rights, they spent something like a short eternity within arms reach of one another, but neither was ever so impulsive as to try something like this. They were too busy, too proud, to prickly...
Hakuno sees the value of setting those things aside, right now.]
Yes, yes. I'm so glad I'm not inconveniencing you.
[ Gilgamesh laughs a little. Sarcasm is familiar, comfortable between them. ]
I'm... pleased by the fact that you're open. [ to the possible future, but also to this. ] It may have been a misjudgment for me to speak, though I am incapable of misjudgments, hmph! But... I did not want to cross some threshold with you which would unnecessarily -- complicate matters.
I suppose it's difficult to set aside my pride. But, ah, Master, are you not doing the same? [ that's how he has to see it. that they both are. that it isn't some game of continual one-upmanship where someone is losing and someone is winning and someone is pushing and someone is pulling. the sexual economy has always been that to him, and even if he sincerely meant not to take that approach with her in his offer, on some level perhaps it was there in his immediate awkwardness. it's very very challenging, but... ] I do respect you. I want to satisfy you... as you like. Lead the way, Master!
I'm trying to be fair to you, that's all. I've calmed down, since you first arrived. Gilgamesh is Gilgamesh, but I'm confident that you aren't hellbent on making me yours beyond the way I already am. Right now, there isn't some ominous clock ticking down to the end of the world; we have the luxury to take our time with this.
[Really, he should be more cautious. When it comes to sexual economy, in Hakuno's case it's more of a game of Monopoly, and the deck always seems to be stacked in her favor. She has a way of dragging people into deep, clinging feelings, of artlessly baring her heart and tangling others in it without the slightest of ill intentions.
He's seen it firsthand.]
...Gilgamesh.
[She pats his head gently one last time, and pulls back to shoot him a wry look.]
[ On a certain level, Gilgamesh does understand how his other self could have lost it. After all, he and Hakuno cultivated a surprising degree of closeness during their time in the Moon Cell, even if there was minimal touching. It was certainly beyond what this Gilgamesh would have expected, but it happened quite incrementally.
On the other hand, his twin had all of that shoved into his mind abruptly, with no gradations. And Hakuno would be right to be wary because Gilgamesh hasn't exactly had a great track record with wanting to possess women Saber cough, but... again, incremental developments.
So, yes, Hakuno, taking time is wise, and that Gilgamesh acquiesces should further put your mind at ease.
BUT ANYWAY... ]
Oh? Is that so? Well, perhaps I should assist you, Master.
[ PICKS HAKUNO UP AND FLINGS HER ONTO THE BED, THEN FLINGS HIMSELF IN AFTER HER... ]
[She doesn't even have time to flail, bouncing amoung her plush pillows and coverlets, and then suddenly bounced in accordance with his sudden addition as well. She squirms a little, and rolls over to face him.
She seems to be glowering at him, but there's something bright and childishly pleased dancing in her eyes.]
[ And really, it's not a day ending in -y if he can't bully the cute squirrel girl. She bullies back well, for that matter.
The bed is soft, and filled with Hakuno's sweet feminine scent, warm and perfumed, like everything else in this room. No doubt even if Gilgamesh says nothing, the others will smell it on his skin after their literal embrace. It's certainly not his own scent, which is more sandalwood and a faint metallic tang from all the gold he wears -- nothing flowery whatsoever.
It definitely is pleasing to see the brightness in her eyes. Gilgamesh adjusts himself amid the pillows and eases closer, hesitating for another moment before giving up and giving over, wrapping his arms around her and lying face to face, a scant few inches between them now. Her body is so small, but up close like this, she may notice that, absent the armor which added weight and the spiked hair which added height, he's a bit smaller than he may initially have looked, too... and younger, for all his thousands of years of age. ]
This is certainly preferable to our arrangements in the Moon Cell, wouldn't you say, Hakuno?
[That hesitation is a mark in his favor. If nothing else, it shows a degree of caution and thoughtfulness, at least in that moment. It's frustratingly easy to feel relaxed now, as well. The other Gilgamesh hadn't been in this form when he attacked her, after all, and this one before her spent weeks personally ensuring her personal safety.
She wrinkles her nose at him.]
On the Far Side, definitely. Sleeping on the floor was terrible. Ah, but currently, I have two amazing beds back home: one in each of the capitals that Nero and Tamamo built.
I had many splendid beds in Uruk as well, as befits the first among kings. Ah, but --
[ a little hesitant again... but only a little. as much as it's frustratingly easy for her to lapse in her strict rules around him, it's also frustratingly easy for him to let his guard down around her, so maybe she can take some comfort in the realization that they're both pushing their own boundaries and there's a rare mutuality in that. ]
I'm... quite unaccustomed to lying with someone. In such a manner as this. I slept alone in my chambers. My wives and consorts and anyone I embraced in "the other manner" slept in their own spaces.
[ certainly his palaces were opulent enough for any brides to have their own quarters. Gilgamesh kept to himself... with the exception of his friend, sometimes. they certainly lay together while traveling, and sometimes in his palace room, in the most special and private quarters reserved for the king. but even that had often been sexual. this is very strange territory. ]
Nero and Tamamo both like this sort of closeness, so--
[She pauses, mid-reassurance, as something he just said resonates and reminds her of something she overlooked, or maybe failed to examine too closely at the pertinent point in time.]
...wait, wait, did you say something about a wife here, a little bit ago?
[ Oh, yes. He had briefly mentioned that, hadn't he? Actually, Gilgamesh had been considering asking Hakuno about this woman, since honestly he still scarcely knows her. Not that this was completely unusual, given that, for as odd as it would seem to most modern perspectives, many of his marriages had been arranged and thus to people he barely knew, and many he barely saw after marriage, too... but this wife seemed particularly special to his twin. ]
In a manner of speaking, yes. A woman who is the embodiment of the country, Vietnam. [ strange, but, well, look at the both of them. ] She is not my wife, though. She is the wife of the other me. He told her to love me, and she insists she does... however...
[ hm. again, he debated whether to talk to about this, but... it's good to have someone to confide in who's a bit more removed from the situation... ]
Hakuno, I highly distrust a "love" which seems so derivative. I do not know or understand this woman. She has treated me well. I feel a certain fondness for her at moments, yet I also find her insistent affections cloying. I suspect they're in part some self-appeasement.
I think perhaps you understand, having been so often "loved" as an extension of other people's manias and desire to satisfy themselves through you. Though for me, it has always been this way... it is what we call love, in my era, for the king.
[ "love" for him has always had a pretty different meaning. everything was either a game of dominance and submission, or conquest, or adoration for the King but not really for any sort of internal self -- rather an idea of him, which is how he suspects this new wife sees him, though she would argue otherwise. so in that respect, she's not that unusual, among wives. ]
Mm. It's different with you. You do not revere me. Though it's difficult to express, even for me, I feel I receive some truth when I speak to you.
[It's a very particular type of silence that sweeps over her. A cold one, but not one directed at him if the thoughtful expression on her face means anything. There's something sharp in her eyes though, like a blade pulled just an inch out of its sheath.]
Well, first and foremost, it isn't your duty to love somebody just because they claim to have feelings for you. If she's suffocating you, leave, or tell her that her assertions and avowals aren't welcome or wanted. You could... try to be polite about it. She has absolutely no claim on you, after all, and you have no history with her. Whatever she or your other self might think, if you aren't interested in that sort of attachment with her, then she isn't your wife. Period. She doesn't have to be anything in particular to you. Surely you had your share of unbound admirers in the past, right?
[ He hasn't exactly been polite in the face of some of Vietnam's talk of love, having dismissed her rudely or shoved her away a few times, though he hasn't been excessively cruel, either. Not yet, and perhaps it won't come to that if they can establish some form of more normal and gradual relationship as he and Hakuno have managed. The problem is that when you make Gilgamesh feel a certain way, too much at once, there's always the possibility of tripping that switch. It's probably for the best that he addressed this with his Master, all told, since she's a calming presence in his life, and though he would never admit it out loud, the downfall of his other self has impressed upon him a little more caution. ]
Hm. Hakuno... are you unwell?
[ In the relative darkness, he regards her with sudden concern. ]
I thought perhaps you knew them better than I... yes, they live in a place called Atua, in the desert. I was invited to live there, also. Tonight, I left to be here. I needed distance, I suppose.
I'm... possibly furious. Maybe. I need to talk to her about something, that's all.
[Vietnam seems like a kind woman, from what Hakuno has seen of her. But, Gilgamesh can be charming, and he was monstrous to her friend. Who's to say Vietnam isn't every bit as monstrous underneath? Or maybe... maybe he kept it from her? Is she oblivious even now, to what he's done? Does she know the man she welcomes to her bed has forced himself on others here?
She forces herself to slowly inhale, and exhale.]
...I can understand needing space. Sometimes too much interest and affection can be... claustrophobic. And... well, my home is open to you too, if you want.
[ He pauses before leaning in and reciprocating the kiss to her forehead, then pulling back, re-establishing space. Their lighthearted respite had taken a dark turn, but as Hakuno has reminded him, there's a lot going on for her right now. ]
I'm glad of that. I want to visit you again like this.
[ HM. QUICK, SAY SOMETHING STUPID TO DISTRACT HER FROM ANGRY SADNESS ... ]
Of course... I... I will not have much time to experience claustrophobia of any sort soon, for I will be preoccupied with building my Thrilling Splash Time resort worthy of the true King of Heroes. Of course your mongrel self is welcome to come experience its joys and pleasures.
[The kiss puts her off-balance, disrupting the angry whirlpool of what-ifs and maybes starting to sift around her head before it can pick up too much momentum. Certainly, she had made those overtures herself, but...
It means something, for him to offer the same sort of tenderness that she might. No barbs, no backhanded compliments, just honest appreciation.
--and, as it so happens, he picks just the right topic to keep her from tumbling back into that hole.]
...that water park of yours? Where are you building it? How are you going to keep the demons out?
[ The strange thing about him saying/doing the right things is that this Gilgamesh isn't necessarily going out of his way to do so, as Hakuno insinuated his alternate self is doing. He's pushing at the edge of his usual limits, to be sure, but it feels quite natural and effortless somehow. It can really only be explained by the particular nature of the Master/Servant bond and a long time of knowing one another, even if this Hakuno is different in some ways. ]
Why, I'm building it in Atua, of course. Ha, I confiscated the land from that other mongrel. [ well, kind of. or bargained with sex or something something. it's a little blurry. ] Hahahaha, of course when I saw the oasis, I knew I must achieve my dream of a waterpark worthy of my name, something to inspire all the mongrels on this new world to properly revere me...
... hm. Ah. I suppose there are some minor logistical matters remaining to be considered. Hakuno, am I to understand you do not think people would take pleasure in the joy of battling demons during their adventures in my watery paradise?
[She... yeah, she probably won't be coming to visit Trilling Splash Time any time soon, if that is the case. But, all the same, she hesitates to actually tell him so; it's his baby, his pride and joy, something he poured his heart and mind into with a single-minded purity that was almost childlike in its eagerness.
So... she doesn't say it. She lets the conversation move along, instead.]
Uh, yeah, big time. Most people don't find fighting against death and rape to be, uh... relaxing.
[ well, she's always welcome to visit if/when she and Other Gil get on better terms. but aw, how cute. good thing Gil has no idea she's thinking such cute things. there would have to be merciless teasing. ]
...
Hm. I see. I am open to suggestions. Is there someone you would trust with such a matter, Hakuno?
[She nestles her head against the pillow and nibbles her lip as she thinks, turning over different ideas.]
The only one who jumps to mind for barrier magic on a large scale would be Kris and his sister, but... well, they already have Tel'Adre to take care of. Do you... not have some sort of magical item in your treasury you could use?
[Oh. Oh wait, he, uh... most of his treasure is...]
Or, actually, can you access the other Gilgamesh's Vault, too?
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[The power of Sovereign is something she paid for, dearly. How could she ever face her Servants again, if she just tossed it over like a spare jacket?]
Nn... well, it's not like I go looking for it.
[She's practically melting under those ministrations. It's not the first massage she's gotten since coming here, but in a way it's more intimate than the other, even when that one devolved into sex. Each twitch of his finger is thoughtful and deliberate, for the sake of easing her burdens.]
...I'll trust in those words of yours, Gilgamesh.
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[ It's interesting ... because although the Hakuno who Gilgamesh knew was merely a "normal" school girl, by a certain definition of "normal," a Hakuno who is now a sovereign seems in some ways even more suited to relate to his experiences. Gilgamesh never would have supposed her life might take such a turn, but in a rather strange way, it makes a sort of sense.
Gilgamesh quiets a little, comfortably and companionably, when Hakuno says she will trust him. Trust in the Master/Servant relationship -- it's always a complicated dynamic, to be sure. Hakuno is kindly made and satisfied by simple joys, but her Servants ... well, none of them is exactly an innocent. Gilgamesh knows the stories of Nero, Tamamo, and certainly Altera, not to mention that corrupted Archer Hakuno has contracted with here.
Yet she accepts them all, and Gilgamesh too. So, of course, it isn't that the other Gilgamesh was a monster, but that he betrayed in so personal way. ]
I told you before, Master, that I'm a demon, but... I will be honest with you.
[ That's his particular/peculiar honor. And for all that Gilgamesh has always conceived of his own nature and wild, unable to be tamed, a tempest in human form... perhaps a good Master does make some difference in outcome. He was created to judge humanity. Thus Gilgamesh could have become one who destroyed all life or one who saved it. One Gilgamesh went in one direction, the other another, and Hakuno has now met both. But surely she herself had some hand in the outcome, as his Master. So... ]
Hm. That other one tells me I can be corrupted here. I do not want to believe it, but the evidence is before my eyes. [ firmly... ] It must not happen. I believe with you as my Master... well.
[ well, there's no need to elaborate. his own natural strength of will should be fortified. ]
-- But, there is one other thing I wished to ask about.
[ Gilgamesh lightens his touches, almost teasing, holding up her hair in something of a ponytail and feathering the tips of his fingers at the nape of her neck. it's always been a particularly fascinating place on the human body, a column of muscle, indicating vulnerability and yet power. it's no less interesting on an NPC.
Slowly, he turns his gaze aside a little, so that their eyes aren't meeting in the mirror's reflection. He's been debating whether or not he should bring this up, but Hakuno has been as forthcoming as ever, and enough of their camaraderie seems restored that perhaps the topic will not be too much of an interference. ]
That other me... Hakuno, he told me that the two of you embraced.
[ well, not the word he used, but translations from Gilganism to Gilganism.]
-- Hm. Do not think I have some ignoble motive for asking about this.
[ still looking away!!]
I said I do not care who you lie with. Yet, considering what has happened... and I am uncertain whether his body was in that state... however... certainly I cannot think this was well for you.
no subject
Her hair half-spills against his fingers when she tilts her head curiously, trying to figure out the nature of his interest in that little tidbit.
She gives up, because that's a headache waiting to happen, and just answers honestly instead.]
Oh, yes. We did. It was... months and months ago. There was another festival, with flowers and chocolate provided, but there was some sort of magic in one or another or both. Very briefly, we loved each other.
[She pauses, then clarifies.]
As a man and a woman do, not the way I normally love you. It was different from what BB did to you, too; it felt... natural. Neither of us had our perceptions majorly altered, or our wills noticeably bent.
[But, more to the point--]
This was before any of the fighting or the transformation, of course. I think it was even before we regained our memories of our time together on the Far Side. He took me into the Gate, when we... 'embraced'. I... don't believe he'd easily be able to try that sort of thing now. He said summoning from there is difficult, lately.
no subject
[ What is the nature of his interest, indeed... it's not jealousy, nor is it even surprise that such an outcome could be possible after he had rejected her and been certain of her own reciprocal indifference, though Gilgamesh was somewhat surprised by the different outcome. ]
I will tell you why I asked. Hakuno, if you will, turn to me.
[ Gilgamesh knows she believes him now, but he still wants her to see his eyes. the penetrating red gaze -- she should see the truth there, if anywhere, and she is one of the few he has allowed to look at him at such a close eye level. Gently, he re-arranges her so that they're facing one another on the small space of the chair, with her practically in his lap, though he does not reach beyond what he has already touched.
GET READY FOR GILGANISM IN 3, 2, 1 ...]
I had considered -- those memories must seem dishonest to you now, perhaps even all the more awful in light of what came next. But perhaps not? You say you loved one another. Perhaps those joys of the mind are not twisted by that later reality.
Yet, as I contemplated the memories of my body imprinted upon on your memory, I could not be satisfied by what he has done, and -- gradually the idea grew up on me that perhaps a new memory could be created to cleanse the old. Hmph. I simply do not want my image disgraced, and though I don't seek to absolve another, perhaps it would -- assist your comfort in some manner.
[ THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST CONFESSION SINCE BB. IT MADE SENSE AND SEEMED PSYCHOLOGICALLY LOGICAL IN HIS MIND BEFORE, PURGING HIS OTHER SELF'S TAINT OR WHATEVER, BUT NOW IT ALL SOUNDS WRONG.
well, not like Gilgamesh to rescind, so tumbling ahead -- ]
Listen, Hakuno, don't mistake me! Hmph! I've lain with innumerable beauties and will certainly embrace many more. Though your looks seem far more adequate outside of the Moon Cell, I am the furthest from a man lacking in lovers. And lest you think I see you as some conquest or a challenge, I must disabuse you of that!
[ Deep breath. ]
In truth I know your mongrel heart is as easily pleased by simple and plain gestures as grand ones and you would no doubt simply continue to "make small talk" through my majestic embrace, rather than losing yourself in feminine bliss like so many others! There's no joy of conquest in that, let me assure you.
Truly, I was not lying when I said I do not view you as a woman... and do not feel for you "as a man and a woman," I do not seek to flirt with you, nor conquer you, nor possess your heart [ regardless of what another Gilgamesh had done ] rather -- [ Still gazing at her, all the more intensely. ] I see you as a being who is my equal, as a lord whose attentions are divided among her loyal subjects, who can never be tamed by a marriage bed or some singular and eternal romance.
... hm. This sounded better in my mind. Now as I say it, no doubt it would be highly foolish of us to engage in such an act. [ WELL. SHRUGS. ] However, I do not think you would regret it, and I can say for certain I would not.
[ sorry, he's Not Good at this whole Vulnerability thing... ]
I want to share in the joys of our bodies, together. So... you granted me permission, Master. Now I grant you permission. [ placing her hands on his face. ] You may touch whatever part of me pleases you.
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Hm.
He doesn't 'fumble' or anything so plebeian, as irksome as it is to admit it even in her own head; the words tumble and crash out of him with all the careless majesty of a rockslide or an avalanche. He picks up momentum and tosses a few glancing, heatless insults her way at some point, but really, that's just Gilgamesh to the core.
Hakuno, for her part, simply watches him, her blank, thoughtful gaze frustratingly difficult to penetrate. She takes a moment to parse through all possible Gilgamese-to-Hakuno translations, review any possible ulterior motives, and then, finally, stands.]
Let's... table that offer for a little while. I trust you, but... how to put it? Neither of us would regret it, but I think your other self is an issue that would... color our time together. And that wouldn't be fair to any of us, right now. But, for the moment--
[Her hands are still on his face, as she looks down at him, and she gently guides him forward so she can softly, sweetly press her lips against his forehead. It's a gesture divorced from carnality, something unmistakably tender, something that says, without words, 'you are dear to me.'
Her hands shift to his shoulders and she draws him into an actual embrace, sharing a different type of physical joy. One he might not accept from any other person in this world, given the fact that she is currently the only non-AUO 'equal' he has on this plane. Her cheek is pressed softly to the crown of his head, now, and her voice is even gentler than before.]
I don't love you as a lover, but I do love you. On the Far Side, those feelings crept up on me, despite my better judgment and your unerring reminders that our time was meant to be fleeting, and I would die when we parted. But, you crept into my heart all the same. I'm... different from what you remember. I fought an entire second War you have no recollection of, and I've been betrayed both there, and here, and I need to deal with that. After I sort things out in my head, I wouldn't mind trying that with you. But, maybe instead of lying together "as man and woman" tonight, we could just... lie together?
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This, however, takes him aback.
It's -- not a situation he's been in before. Not exactly. If this were purely about sex, as so many things have been, no doubt he would simply push his desires selfishly, perhaps even to the point of taking, but it's not about that. The issue, rather, is that he has little framework for non-sexual closeness. Well, not that most of his sexual encounters were particularly "close," either, but sometimes one could let their guard down somewhat during such an act. So when she embraces him (more literally), he's quite stiff at first... though he tries to relax somewhat. It isn't natural for him whatsoever. Perhaps she does such things with her other Servants and they respond more amiably.
Gilgamesh just sort of "hms" affirmatively. But that's still more, yes, than anyone else would get. He would certainly have shoved them away by now.
In some sense, it's perhaps slightly disappointing that his copy could go farther with his Master than he has, prone as he is to viewing the world through a sexual hierarchy, but for both of their sake, he makes an actual effort not to view things through such a lens. ]
Yes ... I suppose. I'll try.
I have nowhere to be.
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In fact, the embrace itself is gentle and warm, with the faint scent of desert flowers wafting around from her soap and shampoo. This is a big moment for both of them, after all; by all rights, they spent something like a short eternity within arms reach of one another, but neither was ever so impulsive as to try something like this. They were too busy, too proud, to prickly...
Hakuno sees the value of setting those things aside, right now.]
Yes, yes. I'm so glad I'm not inconveniencing you.
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I'm... pleased by the fact that you're open. [ to the possible future, but also to this. ] It may have been a misjudgment for me to speak, though I am incapable of misjudgments, hmph! But... I did not want to cross some threshold with you which would unnecessarily -- complicate matters.
I suppose it's difficult to set aside my pride. But, ah, Master, are you not doing the same? [ that's how he has to see it. that they both are. that it isn't some game of continual one-upmanship where someone is losing and someone is winning and someone is pushing and someone is pulling. the sexual economy has always been that to him, and even if he sincerely meant not to take that approach with her in his offer, on some level perhaps it was there in his immediate awkwardness. it's very very challenging, but... ] I do respect you. I want to satisfy you... as you like. Lead the way, Master!
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[Really, he should be more cautious. When it comes to sexual economy, in Hakuno's case it's more of a game of Monopoly, and the deck always seems to be stacked in her favor. She has a way of dragging people into deep, clinging feelings, of artlessly baring her heart and tangling others in it without the slightest of ill intentions.
He's seen it firsthand.]
...Gilgamesh.
[She pats his head gently one last time, and pulls back to shoot him a wry look.]
My bed is literally five feet behind you.
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On the other hand, his twin had all of that shoved into his mind abruptly, with no gradations. And Hakuno would be right to be wary because Gilgamesh hasn't exactly had a great track record with wanting to possess women
Saber cough, but... again, incremental developments.So, yes, Hakuno, taking time is wise, and that Gilgamesh acquiesces should further put your mind at ease.
BUT ANYWAY... ]
Oh? Is that so? Well, perhaps I should assist you, Master.
[ PICKS HAKUNO UP AND FLINGS HER ONTO THE BED, THEN FLINGS HIMSELF IN AFTER HER... ]
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[She doesn't even have time to flail, bouncing amoung her plush pillows and coverlets, and then suddenly bounced in accordance with his sudden addition as well. She squirms a little, and rolls over to face him.
She seems to be glowering at him, but there's something bright and childishly pleased dancing in her eyes.]
...you're the worst.
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I did inform you that I was a demon ...
[ And really, it's not a day ending in -y if he can't bully the cute squirrel girl. She bullies back well, for that matter.
The bed is soft, and filled with Hakuno's sweet feminine scent, warm and perfumed, like everything else in this room. No doubt even if Gilgamesh says nothing, the others will smell it on his skin after their literal embrace. It's certainly not his own scent, which is more sandalwood and a faint metallic tang from all the gold he wears -- nothing flowery whatsoever.
It definitely is pleasing to see the brightness in her eyes. Gilgamesh adjusts himself amid the pillows and eases closer, hesitating for another moment before giving up and giving over, wrapping his arms around her and lying face to face, a scant few inches between them now. Her body is so small, but up close like this, she may notice that, absent the armor which added weight and the spiked hair which added height, he's a bit smaller than he may initially have looked, too... and younger, for all his thousands of years of age. ]
This is certainly preferable to our arrangements in the Moon Cell, wouldn't you say, Hakuno?
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She wrinkles her nose at him.]
On the Far Side, definitely. Sleeping on the floor was terrible. Ah, but currently, I have two amazing beds back home: one in each of the capitals that Nero and Tamamo built.
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[ a little hesitant again... but only a little. as much as it's frustratingly easy for her to lapse in her strict rules around him, it's also frustratingly easy for him to let his guard down around her, so maybe she can take some comfort in the realization that they're both pushing their own boundaries and there's a rare mutuality in that. ]
I'm... quite unaccustomed to lying with someone. In such a manner as this. I slept alone in my chambers. My wives and consorts and anyone I embraced in "the other manner" slept in their own spaces.
[ certainly his palaces were opulent enough for any brides to have their own quarters. Gilgamesh kept to himself... with the exception of his friend, sometimes. they certainly lay together while traveling, and sometimes in his palace room, in the most special and private quarters reserved for the king. but even that had often been sexual. this is very strange territory. ]
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[She pauses, mid-reassurance, as something he just said resonates and reminds her of something she overlooked, or maybe failed to examine too closely at the pertinent point in time.]
...wait, wait, did you say something about a wife here, a little bit ago?
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In a manner of speaking, yes. A woman who is the embodiment of the country, Vietnam. [ strange, but, well, look at the both of them. ] She is not my wife, though. She is the wife of the other me. He told her to love me, and she insists she does... however...
[ hm. again, he debated whether to talk to about this, but... it's good to have someone to confide in who's a bit more removed from the situation... ]
Hakuno, I highly distrust a "love" which seems so derivative. I do not know or understand this woman. She has treated me well. I feel a certain fondness for her at moments, yet I also find her insistent affections cloying. I suspect they're in part some self-appeasement.
I think perhaps you understand, having been so often "loved" as an extension of other people's manias and desire to satisfy themselves through you. Though for me, it has always been this way... it is what we call love, in my era, for the king.
[ "love" for him has always had a pretty different meaning. everything was either a game of dominance and submission, or conquest, or adoration for the King but not really for any sort of internal self -- rather an idea of him, which is how he suspects this new wife sees him, though she would argue otherwise. so in that respect, she's not that unusual, among wives. ]
Mm. It's different with you. You do not revere me. Though it's difficult to express, even for me, I feel I receive some truth when I speak to you.
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[It's a very particular type of silence that sweeps over her. A cold one, but not one directed at him if the thoughtful expression on her face means anything. There's something sharp in her eyes though, like a blade pulled just an inch out of its sheath.]
Well, first and foremost, it isn't your duty to love somebody just because they claim to have feelings for you. If she's suffocating you, leave, or tell her that her assertions and avowals aren't welcome or wanted. You could... try to be polite about it. She has absolutely no claim on you, after all, and you have no history with her. Whatever she or your other self might think, if you aren't interested in that sort of attachment with her, then she isn't your wife. Period. She doesn't have to be anything in particular to you. Surely you had your share of unbound admirers in the past, right?
[That said...]
...does Vietnam... live with him?
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Hm. Hakuno... are you unwell?
[ In the relative darkness, he regards her with sudden concern. ]
I thought perhaps you knew them better than I... yes, they live in a place called Atua, in the desert. I was invited to live there, also. Tonight, I left to be here. I needed distance, I suppose.
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[Vietnam seems like a kind woman, from what Hakuno has seen of her. But, Gilgamesh can be charming, and he was monstrous to her friend. Who's to say Vietnam isn't every bit as monstrous underneath? Or maybe... maybe he kept it from her? Is she oblivious even now, to what he's done? Does she know the man she welcomes to her bed has forced himself on others here?
She forces herself to slowly inhale, and exhale.]
...I can understand needing space. Sometimes too much interest and affection can be... claustrophobic. And... well, my home is open to you too, if you want.
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I'm glad of that. I want to visit you again like this.
[ HM. QUICK, SAY SOMETHING STUPID TO DISTRACT HER FROM ANGRY SADNESS ... ]
Of course... I... I will not have much time to experience claustrophobia of any sort soon, for I will be preoccupied with building my Thrilling Splash Time resort worthy of the true King of Heroes. Of course your mongrel self is welcome to come experience its joys and pleasures.
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It means something, for him to offer the same sort of tenderness that she might. No barbs, no backhanded compliments, just honest appreciation.
--and, as it so happens, he picks just the right topic to keep her from tumbling back into that hole.]
...that water park of yours? Where are you building it? How are you going to keep the demons out?
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Why, I'm building it in Atua, of course. Ha, I confiscated the land from that other mongrel. [ well, kind of. or bargained with sex or something something. it's a little blurry. ] Hahahaha, of course when I saw the oasis, I knew I must achieve my dream of a waterpark worthy of my name, something to inspire all the mongrels on this new world to properly revere me...
... hm. Ah. I suppose there are some minor logistical matters remaining to be considered. Hakuno, am I to understand you do not think people would take pleasure in the joy of battling demons during their adventures in my watery paradise?
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[She... yeah, she probably won't be coming to visit Trilling Splash Time any time soon, if that is the case. But, all the same, she hesitates to actually tell him so; it's his baby, his pride and joy, something he poured his heart and mind into with a single-minded purity that was almost childlike in its eagerness.
So... she doesn't say it. She lets the conversation move along, instead.]
Uh, yeah, big time. Most people don't find fighting against death and rape to be, uh... relaxing.
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...
Hm. I see. I am open to suggestions. Is there someone you would trust with such a matter, Hakuno?
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[She nestles her head against the pillow and nibbles her lip as she thinks, turning over different ideas.]
The only one who jumps to mind for barrier magic on a large scale would be Kris and his sister, but... well, they already have Tel'Adre to take care of. Do you... not have some sort of magical item in your treasury you could use?
[Oh. Oh wait, he, uh... most of his treasure is...]
Or, actually, can you access the other Gilgamesh's Vault, too?
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